Killing Them with Kindness…Corporate Kindness

We have all heard the saying: “kill them with kindness”…and what about one of my newest favorites: “don’t mistake my kindness for weakness…”

Quite frankly, and in my humble opinion (which we all realize isn’t so humble if I am voicing it here ) – kindness is often overrated!!! True kindness, like that which comes from a nun, priest or Mother Teresa – is not overrated – nor the small acts of kindness which come unexpectedly to us from those we love and who love us. Not overrated at all.

But there is a whole other society of kindness – let’s call it “Corporate kindness” which still has not come into its own. I have worked in the Corporate world, pseudo-Corporate world, and liaised with Corporate clients long enough to know that kindness is not well appreciated in these circles. Why? Perhaps because it may not have a place – as kind as you may be to a co-worker or colleague, let us not forget the reason everyone’s there: to earn a paycheck, meet deadlines, produce results, and stay away from trouble. Work = Work. Work ≠ Fun and Work ≠ Charity , otherwise we’d all call it ‘Fun’ or ‘Charity’, wouldn’t we?

Workplace kindness can and is often misplaced and misunderstood. Kindness, in fact, can become controversial in the Corporate environment. Some may mistake kindness for manipulation, others for competition, still others for weakness, and a vast majority for unprofessionalism.

Kindness is readily perceived as an attribute of a human being, not necessarily that of a solid worker, manager, director, VP or CEO. Kindness is a close sibling to compassion and character and associates nicely with respect and fair play – aren’t those key attributes of someone you would want to hire (?); yet it remains a step often left unwritten in employee handbooks.

But kindness can be just as easily cultivated as it is dismissed. It is a top down and bottom up trait. Those on the top who practice Corporate kindness can set the emotional tone, and those on the bottom can maintain it – thereby producing a reciprocity which could potentially filter throughout an organization and across departments and business units. I know , Crayola just invented a crayon the color of naïve, but I do believe it’s possible. In looking back on my own experiences, the superiors for whom I worked the hardest were inherently the kindest; and the employees to whom I was the kindest deserved it most for their character and work ethic.

Realize, however, that some in an organization may simply not possess the capacity to know, understand or be kind. They may continue to dismiss or look down upon the trait as weak or useless and proceed with their stoic/manipulative/scheming ways. But, wouldn’t it be great if they were the exception and not the rule?

Yes, work certainly is about getting things done, producing results and earning a living – but I would argue that kinder Corporate cultures cultivate more productive employees who, in turn, produce better results. If you take care of the emotions of those who take care of your business, your business may just take care of itself.

Try a little kindness….

Wishing You Success,
Natalya

If You Enjoyed This, You May Also Like:

1. Caring…With a Capital C
2. Employees Learn What Managers Live
3. Transparency vs. Authenticity: Which is More Powerful?

Your Second Calling

… So the graduations hang on the wall…But they never really helped us at all…
~Billy Joel, Allentown

Those iconic words by Billy Joel were intended for a far different audience, but have always led me to wonder about their inherent truth. Every so often, I read articles rating how much “X Degree” is really worth and how much a particular school’s graduates earn immediately upon graduation. School is certainly not cheap, and the costs go far beyond the bank to include the opportunity costs of time, mental and physical energy, stress and anxiety.

And, today, it’s not enough to have a College degree – even Masters degrees and PhDs can be trumped by the latest and greatest professional certification (the likes of which are very familiar to me). Children, pre-teens even, worry about their scores on national exams and which college they will eventually get into. Whether you have hailed from the Ivy League, have a steady job, are in the middle of a life transition, or have just been “downsized” due to the current economic climate and find yourself back in career-seeking mode, I have not met anyone recently who is immune to reflecting on their past paths and accomplishments and simply wondering what’s next. We’re all coming to terms with the seemingly unstable nature of the world around us and not knowing what we’re worth anymore or where our skills may fit in the changing landscape in which we live.

So where is the line drawn between focusing on success and following a directed path there… or having success result naturally from doing what you’re supposed to be doing?

These thoughts need not propel you into a life crisis; in fact, they can signal an opportunity. A grand opportunity to regain control, instead of blindly following a path which was clearly mapped out but is no longer relevant to you nor for you. Everyone of us brings value and purpose – to both tasks and people. The real work begins when we embark on discovering where to direct that value and in what direction we’re actually being called…

We do not have the luxury of simply sitting back, sipping tea and engaging in quiet contemplation of our heart’s deepest desires 24/7– not when there are mortgage payments to be made and mouths to feed and educate. But we do have the internal responsibility –to ourselves, if not to the rest of the world – to decide where our passions lie and where we expend our energies. It’s certainly not always black and white, either.

I titled this blog “Your Second Calling” because I am convinced we will all be invited to define one at some point – when our first set of life choices ends or screams out for change; if we are lucky, and we missed the first boat – this would be the opportunity to recalibrate. We neither have to accelerate into fifth gear and refinance our assets to get that MBA, nor do we have to resign ourselves and accept that our current job/position/career is where we will always remain. So, where’s the middle ground?

It seems as though every day, lately, I am asking myself :

• What are you good at? What would you like to be better at, and where are there opportunities to learn?
• Do I really need that second or third degree and am I willing to pay the financial and mental costs to obtain it, or am I better off improving upon what I already possess?
• Conversely, will taking the risk and making time to go back to school assist me in redesigning my life and redefining my strengths and contributions?

As humans, we evolve though we do not always like to recognize nor embrace the changes taking place within us. By slowing down, quieting the noise around us, and soliciting external input – we can linger long enough to allow our minds (and hearts) to engage in isolated identification of our strengths and deliberate decision-making about what our next steps will be.

If I have learned nothing else, it is that your second calling will shout more loudly than any other voice and, this time, it will be the voice of your heart. ~ N

Whether you lead a very successful life in the eyes of the world, or are struggling to find your place – try making it a priority to not only do what you have to, but also find what you’re supposed to do – so, then, the path becomes more of a journey and less of a struggle.

Are you in search of your second calling? Have you found it?

Wishing You Success,
Natalya

What Is Black, White and Varying Shades of Gray…?

What Is Black, White and Varying Shades of Gray…?

The tide of life…some may argue. Others may say it’s all only black and white; and still, others, may see it as entirely gray.

I recently purchased a build-your-own file drawer for my home office, and being as instructionally challenged as I am, could not figure out how the metal bars and supports combined to create the whole. Thanks to a handy friend of mine who made short work of it, the structure was soon in place. Now, all I needed to do was insert the plastic drawers that came with the product. When I purchased the set I thought I’d noticed a black and white alternating motif for the drawer colors, and the project manager in me immediately began mentally labeling each drawer for its future purpose! But as the building process ensued, I realized that there were more colors than I had initially noticed. In fact, the black and white ones numbered in the minority; plentiful were the gray drawers – and not just one shade of gray, either. There was a spectrum: dark gray, medium gray and light gray. All of a sudden, the build-your-own-drawer-set frenzy came to a halting stop as I drew the analogy between my initial vision of the drawers and the colored lenses through which I see life. Of course, when I made the purchase I noticed only the black and white drawers and concluded that that’s all there was. Upon closer examination, with an extra dose of patience and some outside support, the shades of gray materialized before my eyes and I had a completely different outcome [product] than I even knew existed.

When I am at work, I often have no choice other than to see the shades of gray. When ‘no’ is not an option, and the black or white solution which should be easily apparent, isn’t – but the job still needs to get done – creative problem solving must be invoked. I learned very early on in my career that ‘A’ is for attitude, and if I came to the table with a problem, I also needed a viable solution to go along with it! Sometimes, that solution simply meant opening up the issue for discussion and invoking the talents and experience of those also involved in the project/issue/department at hand. For example, I know I am not a marketing guru – but if a publication or piece I’ve helped create or edit isn’t reaching the target market, then it’s as much my responsibility as it is the client’s to ensure it gets where it’s intended to go! So, reaching out to those who touch the target market daily or someone with a talent for big picture marketing and creative approaches doesn’t mean I’ve failed at finding a black or white solution myself – it means I’ve recognized the need to delve into the gray. Funny thing is, the answers are often in the gray areas if you slow down and open yourself enough to find them.

In the same way, life will present both its challenges and opportunities; sometimes all the variables will fall into place and timing will be perfect. But most times, life happens and we have to modify our initial vision to include alternative approaches. It is not always easy to accept that there may be a gray solution to your black and white issue, and acquiring the patience it takes to allow that solution to unfold can be anxiety-provoking, but is almost always worth the wait.

As life and work present their challenges, be willing to swim past the black and white, and freestyle your way into the gray. Your solutions may just be floating there ready to find you, and they are often far from what you originally thought you would find.

Wishing You Success,
Natalya

House Hunting as a Metaphor for Life

My last post detailed the home-buying process, from the closing table to the front door.

And, here’s the back story.

Having searched, and searched, and searched some more over the past year for a home, and experienced being on the buyer side of this “buyer’s market”, I was not a happy buyer to say the least. Replete with short sales, foreclosures and tortoise-paced bankers, the real estate market was no place for a hare trying to benefit from the first time home buyers’ tax break and to avoid renewing her apartment lease for the sixth year in a row. …That is, until the day I walked in to view what would be my eventual home…and my wise real-estate agent said to me, “ once you say the words and invoke the ‘law of meant-to-be’, you better sit back and be prepared for the ride!”

I began one year ago not knowing the difference between a villa and a single family, never having heard of hurricane-proof windows, and not realizing that I might actually have to mow a lawn. Now, on the bright side, I have come out of the experience knowing the value of a water vs. garden view, the battle of carpet vs. tile vs. travertine marble vs. hardwood vs. laminate, and essentially exactly which type of home is suitable to me.

But knowledge, in this case, does not necessarily translate into purchasing power. Several contracts, bids, and countless home visits and inspections later, I thought I knew what was out there, what I wanted, and had all but given up obtaining it. Tired after a long trip overseas, and motivated only by lack of a good reason not to keep looking, I acquiesced one precious Saturday to see another home which had just come onto the market and which was apparently very worthwhile seeing. I told my agent that I would go, but refused to get my hopes up, particularly since the seller already had several strong offers. Needless to say, upon entry, I may as well have turned right around – there was no need for a tour nor detailed examination of base boards. This was it. The house. The house that not only trumped all of the others I had seen over the past year, but which I could not have dreamed into life nor architected to be more ideal for me. So, I kept my cool that day, asked the agent to draw up a contract for me and went home, but not before agreeing with my agent that “If it’s meant to be…” and giving it no further thought.

Until the moment, 4 days later, when my agent called me and said the words I never expected to hear: “Congratulations”. They accepted YOUR offer and withdrew from the others.”

It was then that I reflected on this premise: Is house-hunting a metaphor for life?

I had told my agent that I would go, but refused to get my hopes up..

Translation: I had given up hope that there was a house out there whose energy would energize me, that would have my stamp all over it, and that would be attainable given the state of the market; so, instead, I convinced myself that I may as well stay in my rental and content myself. It would certainly be easier that way.

How many times have you persevered, searched, fought, invested time/money/emotion, and worked toward something you wanted or needed –only to feel that it remained out of your reach or thwarted by every imaginable obstacle…? Subsequently, you may have ended up refusing, sub-consciously, to even admit how deeply you wanted it. Perhaps you are working toward a promotion at your current job, a position with a coveted company, a decent relationship, a particular school for your gifted child, trying to have a child, or lobbying to win an important client….regardless of how trivial or monumental your wish, I urge you to consider the following:

1. Luck favors the prepared mind – keep doing what you’re doing, putting forth the effort toward the goal you want to achieve. One never knows where the opportunity will strike, but we do know that it will not strike if you’re closed for business and not open to finding…Case in point, had I not agreed to give up my Saturday to go see that house and keep an open mind with no promise of reward –I would never have known it existed or have been able to experience its fit for me.*

* A corollary to (1) - I would also recommend creating the conditions for a self-fulfilling prophecy to occur. In my case, one failed contract after another led me simply pack harder and read more ‘home & garden’ magazines!

2. Sometimes, despite all of the time/effort/investment of emotion – you simply won’t be crowned a winner if it’s simply not meant for you, or your best life. Trust that if it is not, then there is something better out there for you waiting for its right time to appear in your life.

If we can practice (1) and truly believe (2), life will be a far more productive and more peaceful place!

Wishing You Success,
Natalya

Project Management for the NEW Home Owner

I’m often asked how project management can be used outside the boardroom or office cubicle, and more specifically, how I use project management in general and in life. And, until recently, I thought I’d been using it pretty darn well – so well, in fact, that I conceptualized and am in the process of creating an entire new book around it.

Well, I have President Obama to thank for proving me wrong. Enter the 2009-2010 new home buyer’s tax credit and watch my motivation to become a first time homeowner soar. Until…closing day. While most people would look forward to and celebrate this moment, I faced the closing table with no small amount of dread and an increased, intense Excel worksheet frenzy late into the nights. When all was said and done, and none of it had even begun yet (!), I had a worksheet with too-many-to-count carefully color-coded, columnized tabs – there was a tab for PRE-Closing steps and documents, AT Closing, POST-Closing, Change of Address Lists, Vendor Lists, Cable-Internet-Phone-FPL-Utilities-to-Connect&Disconnect Lists, Furniture-I-Own Lists, Furniture-I’d-Like-to-Own lists…..etc, etc.

Armed with Microsoft Corp. on my side, what could go wrong?! Well, fortunately, Excel aside, it was a textbook closing and all went well! Yet, instead of popping a bottle of champagne at the closing table, I needed a bottle of Advil. I could not wait to jump up and get home to update my spreadsheet. Strange, some may think , but not really – certainly not for me! The keys were mine, and renovations could commence – but more importantly, the real planning could proceed in all its glory! Project planning, that is….Microsoft Project and all of its delights were going to be my new best friends…deliverables, milestones, predecessors…I simply could not wait to identify and track them all! On my critical path: painting and flooring. The paint an obvious predecessor to the floors, and the floors with a ’start no earlier than’ paint constraint. Fortunately, these two items were the only items on the critical path to move-in day. So, once complete, I could set a move-in date.

I already had movers lined-up. Oh, and by the way, my current apartment had been packed up for 7 months, save for the daily essentials needed to live (anyone who knows me would not be surprised). I even had a genius friend map out my current furniture to scale of the new house (!!!) in VISIO (thanks again, Microsoft, we love you) so I knew where all of the pieces would fit in my new home.

So, what was the problem? I was wrought with anxiety, sweating the small stuff, and fearful of all things new-home-owner-centric. Regardless of how many lists I made, project plan deliverables met, and boxes packed – I did not feel ready. I felt overwhelmed and certain that any move-in date I set would not hit its target. Would my very own first home be the first project of mine to colossally fail?

Stepping back for a moment, and taking deep breaths, I had an epiphany. In that moment of clarity and temporary sanity, I stopped berating myself for how badly I was managing my own project, and forgave myself for trying to solve the move, instead of simply living it.

I did berate myself, however, for failing to recall two primary tenets of good project management:

1. Rolling Wave (not) Crashing - Rolling wave project planning (RWPP) is a phased, iterative approach to project planning and implementation. When done well, it balances structured processes with flexibility.* It was readily apparent to me that there was a clear imbalance between my project planning ( too strong) and project execution (weak and anxiety-ridden). If I continued on the path of everything-needs-to-be-done NOW and BY ME, my project would surely crash.
2. Resource Management - There is no ‘I’ in Project Team. Why? Because every project manager is only as strong as the resources assigned to his/her project. And, typically, the PM is not the one with the technical expertise – the resources all bring a special skill to make the project work as a whole. So, I had to not only recognize but also accept that I needed help – I reallllllyyyyy needed help – not only movers to move, but people I knew who knew more than I did about…landscaping, sprinklers, patio cobwebs, light fixtures, paint, and decor, and who were willing to jump in to help without even the promise of a sandwich or donut in return because I was just too busy to stop and feed them. And accepting that I needed help meant, in turn, accepting that I would need to let go of control and learn patience.

So, therein lies a prime example of good intentions gone awry. Instead of willing my new-home-project forward, I had to awaken to the truth that it would be a process not a finish line, and I should celebrate milestones along the way instead of stumbling over them to prove that the project could be closed.

Something tells me that I will be compiling the “Lessons Learned” from this project for a long, long time to come.

VERY SPECIAL THANKS to all those who assisted me during this process…in word and in deed. You KNOW who you are!!! They deserve a standing ovation for making this happen – not only the time and effort expended but for simply tolerating me during this time of anxiety and preparation. And, an extra thanks to a wonderful real estate agent who led me, after a year-long search, to a home better than any I could have dreamed, and to Dad for spotting the diamond in a housing market full of rocks. Stay tuned for my follow up post…”House Hunting as a Metaphor for Life…”

Wishing You Success,
Natalya

* RWPP definition credits: Gregory D. Githens, PMP, Catalyst Management Consulting

It’s Not Easy Being Green

It’s Not Easy Being Green
By Natalya Sabga on July 6, 2010 2:54 PM |Permission granted to reprint by Workshifting.

Traveling, whether by air, sea or land, truly opens a window to the world. In addition to the natural wonders of the Earth, travelling exposes us to new and different cultures as well as to the new and different ways our own culture operates.

On a recent trip to Seattle [Washington] from my home base of South Florida, I went in search of inspiration and productivity at every corner Starbucks. Unable to connect to any of the available wi-fi networks (a much dreaded reality for any freelance writer, consultant or the like who envisions the world as an office), I retreated to the only spa/salon I could find – in as desperate need of a mani/pedi as of a wired hot spot. Imagine my surprise when I not only realized that the sticker prices of these services were triple what I am accustomed to in South Florida, but also when I was informed that I would be treated to bona-fide organically “green” treatments! I felt indulged, special and strangely proud of myself for patronizing such an admirable organization. As I read over its literature, (Julep hopes to expand, coming to a city near you, soon!) I realized that the terms “green”, and “going green” are widely used – yet I was not certain how widely understood?

In simple terms, “going green” can be defined as the act(s) of adopting practices that “lead to more environmentally friendly and ecologically responsible decisions and lifestyles, which can help protect the environment and sustain its natural resources for current and future generations.”

As an independent consultant, my perspective on the gradual switch to a greener existence is very different from that of a large organization or conglomerate. A greener workplace can mean many different things and translate into various behavioral modifications, so I wondered how I could best implement my own measures in my home office…?

1. Transportation - well, this one should be quite easy. My office is 20 feet across from the other rooms in my home. I rarely and barely need to drive into an office or to see clients; but when office duties or client-facing meetings call – I am best served to allocate specific office hours on specific days of the week and maximize that time to cover as many face-to-face meetings as feasible. Consider this: as a workshifter, every appointment or contract you do take is one that you did not take. So you would choose and juggle projects and clients carefully, wouldn’t you? In the same way, every trip (by motor vehicle) you do take is one that could be combined or consolidated to produce a trip you don’t have to take…
2. Tree Hugging – be they palm trees like I have in Florida or Pines to the north, we have a unique opportunity to please the trees by veering closer to a paper-less existence.
   • With the onset of technology, smart phones and a plethora of online organizational tools, the need for hard copy calendaring systems and sticky note portraits is long gone. Although this may take some re-training of your mind if you are a sensual and visual worker who needs to see, feel and write – you may be surprised at the joy you receive from plugging in an appointment or task into your smartphone and having it magically sync with your work laptop or PC, or being able to color code your calendars and appointments… Welcome to the world of mindless, foolproof scheduling and tracking.
   • Similarly, long gone is the need for drawers upon drawers of files. Even doctors are going digital nowadays! Create a logical filing system in your ‘My Documents’ folder, learn how to archive your email and most importantly – invest in a smart backup software and external drive. Most are simple, easy-to-install and affordable. Then, the only file cabinet you need is a fire-proof one in which to store the external drive…
   • When you cannot avoid printing, make every effort to print double-sided. You will not only save yourself paper but also have smaller stacks to look at on your desk.
3. Power Struggle -Turn off your monitor/PC/laptop, set them to standby mode after 20 minutes of non-use, or – even better – unplug! Before you turn any shade of green, BE INFORMED and understand what you’re doing and what its effect will be. Did you know that if every notebook sold worldwide in 2006 was on standby 50% of the time… enough power would be saved on an annual basis to provide power to more than 45,000 households…? (citation) I was shocked to learn that equipment continues to leech power in the “off mode” when still plugged in. So at night, or when you’re away, it’s best to “unplug” in more ways than one.
4. Reduce, Reuse, Recycle – while these terms have been around as long as I can remember, they have not always been actively practiced. Turn the A/C down or the heat up where you work. Reuse office supplies for as long as they last. Recycle all paper and plastic products and buy recycled wherever it can be found. If your community does not have a recycling program, contact your local waste management authority and demand one! Don’t just think of yourself as an office of one, but rather as an army of one on a crusade to better the quality of the earth one less paper copy at a time..

So, no, it isn’t easy being green, and it may take a more conscious effort on your part to live and work in a more environmentally friendly fashion, but the planet will thank you and so will many future generations. You may even surprise yourself and discover that a greener life is a cleaner one – in mind, office and spirit, too!

What steps are you/your organization taking/have taken to be greener? What small steps have you adopted to make your life’s work more environmentally friendly?

Personal Branding: Stepping Out or Stepping Aside…?

Imagine a place where it IS all about you. Really. This place lives in the world of personal branding. You do not have to be a major market player, and it’s likely you’re not, to need a personal brand. Don’t you think the likes of Warren Buffet, Suze Orman, Donny Deutsch and others began with only the knowledge in their heads and a willingness to share it? So what made them grow into the household names they are today, aside from likability and knowledge? Who they are and what they know morphed into a personal brand which eventually made its way into our lives, and onto our bookshelves and TVs.

Having branched out myself in the past year, and examined the possibilities and constraints of selling “me”, I had to look closely at what being and becoming a personal brand really means. And, I will tell you what I determined rather quickly – you not only have to have an unabashed belief in yourself but more importantly you must not be TOO SHY to tell everyone – yourself – all about YOU! Particularly with the plethora of social media engines, there is ample opportunity for what I like to call “e-boasting.” From Facebook to Twitter to LinkedIn and online magazines, I was sure my name, my abilities and my expertise would practically swim themselves out into a sea of marketing opportunities. Oh my, I was so wrong. First of all, the term ’social media’ is not a misnomer!!! You really do have to be a social being to even want to use them. They’re not for the shy, introspective loner at heart. Even after one year, I still cringe every time I pen a new blog and force myself (yes, I repeat, force myself) to post the link to Facebook. But the good news is, the more you do it, the easier it becomes. And, of course – if you truly believe in your message and want to share it with others to somehow better their existence, you can chalk up the social anxiety to a greater good. And, as soon as you begin to receive comments on your blog posts or other social media mutterings, the theory proves itself.

If you want to go one step further (and I’d really rather not, but am trying very hard to convince myself), you venture into the world of public speaking, conferences with like minded professionals, promotional opportunities and perhaps even an agent.

Having said that, before you contemplate YOU too much:

1. Identify your core area(s) of focus – for the life of me, I do not understand consumers who buy coffee from McDonald’s. Somehow french fries and fresh coffee percolating just do not mix for me. Nor would I go near a slice of pizza if Dunkin Donuts ever added it to its line-up. By the same token, don’t try to know everything or have your brand encompass too much at first. You will learn, quickly, where you truly want and can direct your efforts with the most valuable outcome. And if it takes some time, try different projects until you’re sure about the ones that make you excited to get out of bed and off to work. I am still learning which “hats” fit me best, but it’s a really great feeling when you find one that’s snug
2. Know your product and be able to recite it to anyone who asks or may need to know – how can you “sell” what you cannot explain, especially if it’s YOU! (Reference item (1) above – you need to know your areas of focus before you can speak of them in a concise fashion.) For an exceptional article on “Elevator Pitches”, check out HR Bartender’s recent post…
3. Let your talents bloom. If you love something and know that the results of your efforts are good, or maybe even exceptional, explore how you can offer them to others! You may just create a brand without even trying and fulfill the needs of others. What begins as a fondness for tending to your garden may just one day become your own landscaping empire!
4. Award credit where credit is due – especially when it’s not due to you! One of the first and most valuable lessons I learned over the past year was to acknowledge my infancy in the world of personal branding and to applaud those who know more and do it better than I do. Although they say that “imitation is the sincerest form of flattery,” I am not completely comfortable mimicking others’ efforts nor walking in the footprints they’ve stamped in the sand ahead of me, but I do observe and watch and monitor and evaluate every opportunity I notice out there and decide which ones may fit my skill sets and comfort levels best. There’s no shame in offering your abilities where they may add value. There is room for everyone to shine! I also award credit to and for the inspirational influence on my work – doling out praise and credit where and when it’s due will pay dividends and may even result in the favor being paid back to you! As a result of recently attending a free webinar, I acknowledged the company in a past article and they soon contacted me to kindly offer me the honor and ability to audit their programs and provide them with feedback and expertise. Fun and flattering, I must say!
5. Look in the mirror - whether you are a professional, a student, a homemaker, ….we ALL project a personal brand to the world. Know what that is and be proud to sell it indirectly to those with whom you interact. And, most importantly, do what it takes to go to sleep at night with the assurance that you’d want to buy YOU yourself!

Author’s Note: As I venture into writing another book, knowing what I know now about releasing the first, I have to ask myself- am I ready for the world to read the words I kept between me and the keyboard for so long? Like it or not, your personal brand IS you – and if you choose to have one, be sure you want to display it on the world’s shelves.

Wishing You Success,
Natalya

ConGraduations on your Graduation !!! Navigating the Maze of Life’s Choices, One Generation at a Time…

‘Tis the season for graduations, congraduations and the like. Having avoided my own ceremonies and attending only by force , I have a tremendous appreciation and admiration for the generations today which I am witnessing embrace this rite of passage.

In particular, I was fortunate to be part of a wonderful family event honoring two of my cousins recently, one of whom is graduating onto University and the other to High School. Needless to say, aside from the sheer pride etched on their parents’ faces, there were also the lines of devotion and sacrifice embedded deeply. Watching my two cousins, I wondered: How is it that this generation seems so focused? So open to opportunity? So acclimated to the opulence of options they have, and so comfortable with change?

And, in thinking, I was able to arrive at two answers (there are sure to be many more, but these are my deductions):

1. Despite the plethora of choices they have, they really have no other choice: We have all heard it said over and over again: This is not your parents’ world. Life is tough. The economy is tighter than a rubber band that has already snapped. So, these kids, knowing the world in which they have grown up and are now entering as “adults”, ACCEPT that they must stand on their own and know who they are. Yes, life will be harder for them. They will have to fight harder for their success and they surely better know what they want at the end before they even begin. And, no, they cannot Google the answers to these questions nor can they Blackberry message their friends to ask them either. These answers lie not only within themselves but also around them, in the fiercer than ever competition they face among their very own peers. So, in a sense, that which might overwhelm them in the face of limitless possibility and abundant resources is what must keep them most focused.

2. There is simply no room for “life envy”: Coined by Nietzsche, the term ‘Lebensneid’ translates into “life envy” – i.e., the certainty that someone else is much luckier than you.*

If only you had his/her…spouse, life, six-pack-abs, corner office (you see where this can go…), then YOUR LIFE would be so much better. Yet, in my own experience, “life envy” does not occur because you are an inherently discontent or lazy person wishing for someone else’s good will; rather, it rather ironically occurs because you are a focused, hard working, ambitious individual who is simply overwhelmed by the many choices life presents to you and the inability to feel secure that the choices you make are the correct ones. I recall praying directly to God to please let me be accepted to only one University of the six to which I’d applied. If only one accepted me, that made my choice so much easier didn’t it? There would have to be no choice….this example is microcosmic compared to the many life choices we are faced with daily, even hourly.

Thus, you can begin to grasp why the modern world has become – even with all of its advances and advantages – a neurosis generating machine. In a world of such abundant possibility, so many of us become limp with indecision.

~Elizabeth Gilbert, excerpted from Committed, Penguin Books, 2010 *

Having so many options can make us stressful, anxious and plagued by the risk of missed opportunities. If you choose ‘A’, you relinquish ‘B’. Life has room for only so many options. And, today’s generation, on some level, realizes this. They’re neither terrified by all the choices nor that they may choose the wrong one. They inherently realize that to stop to over-examine the many choices they have will paralyze them. To try to compare themselves with their peers or wonder if they should have chosen someone else’s path instead will waste their own time and prevent them from ever seeing, far less reaching, their ultimate goals.

Are YOU decisive? Is your decision-making ability frozen by the amount of mind-numbing choices which surround us?

Perhaps we have to stop questioning ourselves and instead listen to the answers which are right before us and all around us. Create our own model lives and navigate our way through life using our internal GPS.

Wishing You Success,
Natalya

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