" He Who is Afraid of Asking is Afraid of Learning... " ~ (Danish Proverb)

My New Year’s UNResolutions

I’ve realized that there is a distinct difference between planning and resolving. Planning is helpful to get your to-dos, wish list or goals in order. Plans can change, and most often do. Resolutions, on the other hand, imply some level of absolutism – one can infer that to veer from a resolution made is to fail or to have lost the willpower needed to achieve.

So, if I must make any “resolution” for 2012, it would be to NOT make any. Taking that concept one step further, I’d also like to suggest a few things I plan (translate: unresolve) to do:

  1. I refuse to believe any longer that writing down my expenses equates to ” budgeting.” This, perhaps, is the biggest lie I have ever told myself . Tracking what you spend and where is useful, so if you have to start somewhere – start there. But, please, set some limits ( ie, ” budget ” ) in your primary spending categories and be honest with yourself if you don’t stay within these parameters. If nothing else, awareness of your spending habits will increase and you’ll permit yourself the conscious choice of working to support your spending -or- working to meet your basic expenses. BIG difference.
  2. I unresolve to get so hot and bothered about things over which other people don’t seem to be losing sleep. I can’t solve the world’s problems, nor can I make everyone’s work ethic the same as my own. I can, however, set my own standards, measure myself against these, and let go ( translate: walk away) when others’ choices, behaviors or timelines are outside of my control. I’m really hoping to conserve some emotional and mental energy with this unresolution.
  3. For as disciplined and focused as people believe I am, I erred on the side of scattered and unfocused at times throughout 2011. So, I am moving toward less multi- tasking and more focused prioritization. PS: I’m learning that means minimizing distractions, too; so, don’t take it personally if I tell you ” not right this second, but how about –:– time, instead?” That way, I hope to manage my interruptions so they don’t manage me.
  4. Last year this time, I took a goal-setting seminar. I could not tell you one goal I “set” in that 7 hour workshop nor if any were achieved. Since then, and thanks to some brilliant people I’ve met along the way in 2012, I will continue to set goals using new and improved techniques. But more important than even the goals themselves will be the daily or weekly check-in to gauge where I’m at on the goal continuum and what I need to adjust. Goals are like finish-line flags, set in place to give you a marker to aim for. Either you wave it down when you reach it and shout ‘Victory’ or you decide to move the flag and adjust your path as life proceeds.
  5. And, lastly, on my list of “unresolutions,” I will be more positive when talking to MYSELF. Like it or not, life plays tricks on your mind; and although all bad things do come to an end, some of us relive them every day in the negative thought patterns these experiences leave behind. “It has been demonstrated that nearly 90% of our thoughts are negative…and these nasty little beasts can be even more powerful than positive thoughts because we often find them easier to accept.” * So, more so than merely repeating positive affirmations a la Stuart Smalley, I choose to use positive thoughts to challenge those automated negative ones and become MORE aware of my thoughts and words in everyday life.

Wishing You Success in 2012,
N
atalya

* Excerpted from www.vitalaffirmations.com

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