Paradise Lost…or Opportunity Gained?

Have you ever wondered if a shattered dream was actually an unanswered prayer? Could paradise lost actually be an opportunity gained?

For anyone who has set their site on an important career promotion, perfect HGTV dream home, tickets for a sold-out concert or even the gender of a child – they can tell you that dreams are not always realized, and most often never in the way we expect them to be. The pessimist would view life, therefore, as unpredictable and uncertain. The optimist would tell you that life is uncertain and unpredictable – of course – but what we perceive to be the perfect outcome may actually be far, far from it, so we should welcome in the improbability of unrealized dreams with confidence, not trepidation. And, then, when the playing field changes and life does not take you down the expected or perfect road, you will be able to smell the true flowers in bloom which are found in the paths you had not planned to travel….

So, beyond waxing metaphysical, onto the concrete – we do participate in the outcomes of our life, more often than not.

Which leads us to the act of CHOICE. The act of choosing is not mutually exhaustive; i.e., when you choose A, you opt out of B. Economists are able to assign a value to choice, and each variable involved in making said choice has a different level of “evaluability”. In other words, you can weigh and measure each option quantitatively and base your decision – your choice – on which option possesses the stronger [more valuable] attributes. In turn, you can then deduce the “opportunity cost” of not picking the option left on the table because it was assigned a specific value to begin with!

So, then, what does this economic lingo mean for our lives, our personal and professional decisions? From a cognitive, intellectual perspective – we make the best choices we can with the information we possess at the time. Then, when we know better, we CHOOSE better. But, from an emotional perspective – the decision making process is often based on needs, perceptions and values, not fact; biases, peer pressures and brain chemicals can supersede rational thinking. We often do not know if we made the “right” choice or not until it is too late to change the decision. However, even if it is too late to change the choice, it is not too late to effect a different outcome. Each choice we make leads to some form of action on our part or the part of another – from which we can learn. Every choice teaches us something and leads us to something else. There is no such thing as a wrong choice or path – if something does not work out – it will branch itself off and another path will open.

I remember being devastated, when only 17, I chose to walk away from an ivy-league-paved path which would have secured my future. I came back home to Florida feeling disappointed, embarrassed and confused about what I should do next. Intent on “making good” on my choice, I resolved to use my time toward a good cause and ended up implementing a community-wide environmental awareness and recycling program. Even more importantly, I had to present and sell it to a board of directors of the community, consisting of some of the community’s wealthiest and most powerful inhabitants. I did not know what I was doing, but I believed in my cause and was propelled forward by my past choice to make the future count more. The recycling program was unanimously approved and immediately implemented, but more importantly I was preparing myself for a future of boardrooms, presentations, standing up for my beliefs and convincing others to do the right thing, too. So, was leaving the Ivy League an opportunity lost or a realization of the infinite possibilities within me gained…?

Don’t dwell too long on past mistakes or future uncertainty – we have less control over actions and events, yet more control over outcomes, than we think…

Wishing You Success,
Natalya