What I Wish I’d Known Before I Went Out Into the “Real World”…

In my book, I talk about my entrée into a world I once called “Corporate Utopia.” For anyone who has read Sir Thomas More’s work you would know that [ or, if you haven’t…] Utopia refers to a an ideal community or society. Let us also note that More did not consider such a place to be realistically feasible. So, I tend, then, to wonder: why did I…?

Regardless of how worldly, educated or confident you think you are, you will undoubtedly face challenges yet-unknown when you take on a new job, role or lifestyle. That is why it is called the ‘unknown.’ Of course, you may carry attributes and lessons learned into said new territory, but they will always require a new application for the new experience. Still, we would all agree that skills we learn along the way in life should prepare us to handle ourselves in basic situations, correct? But, often times, they don’t. And, unlike school, in life the F’s are more important than the A’s , for from failure we learn the most.

To that end, and in honor of someone I admire greatly, Maria Shriver, here are a few of the “Things I Wish I’d Learned Before I Went Out Into the Real World”…

1. Communication Skills: If “ ‘A’ is for Attitude”, well of course, “ ‘C’ is for Communication.” What I mean by that is, that without adequate written and verbal communication skills, your chances of truly being successful are slim to none. This does not mean that your emails need to be Shakespearean in nature nor that you need speak as smoothly as Hillary or Bill Clinton, but it does mean that you need to be aware of correct grammar and be concise when writing emails, memos and reports and that you think before you speak whether in a meeting, informal conversation or during a presentation. If you can communicate your ideas and yourself adequately, that will “speak volumes” for your aptitude at what you do.
2. Personal Development: Your brain is a muscle, and it needs exercise like every other muscle in your body, to stay strong. So many times we work so hard, and focus on doing the best job possible – until one day we wake up and realize we are robots. If you have the time and mental clarity to identify not only what you’d like to be better at doing, but what you would really enjoy doing and learning how to – seek out opportunities for personal development, growth and continuing education. You never know where it might lead you….
3. Interacting With Others: I have to laugh as I approach this one. My forte is not interacting with others, especially when I first walk into the office, before adequate coffee consumption and when work is piling up on my desk. While I am not anti-social, I am focused and not loquacious by nature. However, that does not exempt me (or you) from being cordial and interacting with others when professional duty calls – whether at a meeting, problem-solving session, or client dinner. It’s all part of the job and/or career choice you are making. And, unless your desk sits atop Mt. Everest, learn to expect interruptions; but also learn how to deal with them by a) being organized and planning ahead so you are not constantly chasing the 8-ball and b) be honest if you truly have a hard deadline or need quiet time to focus on a task. If your office protocol does not smile upon closed doors, or if you don’t have a door, a nice note taped up to the barely-ajar door and/or cubicle wall requesting respectful silence and space while you work on the task is acceptable!
4. Whom to Emulate and How Not to Follow the Wrong Leader: The term “management style” is overused and misunderstood, IMHO. Saying that you follow a particular style of management is like saying you are the identical twin of a complete stranger who looks and acts nothing like you. Forge your own style, best practices and standards by which to live and work; don’t judge how someone else handles themselves in a certain position until you, too, hold that position and can decide what it takes to succeed doing it; and don’t model your behavior nor knowledge after someone just because their title says you should or others are – but DO study them so you can form your own opinions of them, emulate their strong points and avoid their weaknesses.
5. The Meaning of Loyalty: I never expected loyalty from anyone with whom I worked, and I count this as one of my more wise deductions. The person you are at work – where your ego, professional identity, and means to support your family reside – is not necessarily who you are at heart, deep down and when completely relaxed. Therefore, to expect loyal behavior from people in a work environment is not always realistic. Having said that, the same rules apply – the Golden Rule, that is. Do Unto Others…..etc etc. Particularly if you find yourself in a management position, remember that your employees depend on you for guidance, moral support, trust, and knowledge the same way a toddler relies on its parents for food, clothing and protection. And, if they cannot rely on you, rest assured that eventually your team won’t be able to rely on their output.
6. Choose Your “Friends”Carefully… : It is very true, you do attract more bees with honey than with vinegar; but when you enter a professional environment, you must ask yourself if you are there to make friends or to get a job done. Sometimes you may need to be friendly in order to get the job done, but ultimately the goal is the latter not the former. Of course, when many of us work upwards of 8, 10, 11 hours or more a day, it is natural to not only gravitate but also bond with those around you; however, never let your guard down completely, and build your life outside of your workspace with other people and influencers. Reference the above category, ” The Meaning of Loyalty ” – if you depend too fully on those with whom you work, eventually a work-related issue will arise and your “friendship” may be compromised.
7. The Definition of Intelligence: You are not smarter than anyone and, by the same token, no one is smarter than you. Perhaps you have more experience in a certain area or a heightened insight into particular issues, but we can all learn something from those around us. Sometimes, we learn how not to be or act. And, If you happen to meet someone who thinks and acts as though they are smarter (translate, better) than you, picture yourself doing their job (perhaps with a little training) and you will see clearly that there is no divide.
8. The Difference Between Being a Team Player and Setting Yourself Up to Fail: I have always been a BIG believer that “ ‘A’ is for Attitude” – project optimism and a ‘Can Do’ attitude and your perception will become your reality. But, along the way, ‘A’ also became for AUTHENTICITY. Be true to what is realistic, for you and for the big picture; and where you must project some measure of pessimism or doubt, come equipped with work-around for those issues and create a winning solution.
9. Giving Up Credit [Where Credit is Due]: My father always taught us, if someone else takes credit for your work and effort, then clearly they feel they need it more than you ever could. While praise and credit for your work is not only important, but also a means of differentiating yourself in this unstable economy, choose carefully how to handle a situation whereby you feel that you have been robbed of credit for your efforts. If only for momentary glory, let it go. YOU know you did it and could do it again, so sleep soundly with that confidence and move on with your life. If your job stability relies on it, step aside, take your emotions out of the equation and approach your superior(s) with facts that corroborate your contributions and why it is so important that they know it was your work.
10. Self-Fulfilling Prophecies are NOT a Myth: To quote from a well-known song, “If I can see it, then I can do it…If I just believe it, there’s nothing to it…” Believe in yourself, because if you do not, no one else will either. Contrarily, if you do believe in yourself, why shouldn’t everyone else, too?
11. We All Have a “Number “ We Think We’re Worth: …But you KNOW you’re worth more than they’re paying you. OK, I will tread carefully in this area, particularly in the economic climate in which we reside. I will preface this postulation by saying that you should first consider the budgetary constraints faced or flexibility within the scope of those determining how much you are paid. With that disclaimer noted ( I feel much better) – know your own output, the effort which goes into it compared to others’ efforts around you and the quality of the output. If those three variables add up to more than your paycheck, then there is room for discussion. Companies should always want to a) keep and b) reward their top performers, but sometimes the decision makers lose perspective and lose sight of your needs. Be the squeaky wheel, but realize that if times are tough for your organization, your rewards may not necessarily come in the form of $$$. The option to telecommute, take additional paid time–off or other non-fiduciary perks may just suffice!

Wishing You Success “In the Real World”,
Natalya